Jeans define you. Who you are. Where you live. What you ate this morning. How you got to work. Your marital status. The lot. I can sense you rolling those eyes of yours like a slot machine, but don’t gamble just yet. Jeans give you your texture, your personal touch and, in rare yet pleasurable occurrences, can make women want to grope your ass. As such it is imperative that you find the right jeans for you by any means necessary – I’m talking save, loan, bribe and steal – no scrap the last one, advocating theft would tarnish my squeaky clean reputation.
As you can imagine finding the right jeans for each prototype is no easy task. Shopping for all clothing requires certain guidelines or at least principles to point you in the right direction. Some might say these would centre on your butt – the sun to our denim solar system, but the connoisseurs of the fashion factories would tell you that it revolves around meeting requirements in terms of fit and style. I’m sure you are aware of friends and strangers who fall into the trap of buying and, furthermore, brandishing the oh so generic ‘regular’ jeans with the standard plain blue wash (no fade) and common brown stitching. This ‘regular’ variety qualifies supremely in the fit category but why leave style to rot when you can satisfy both, like a threesome? Of course the fit is important but in all honesty I would favour a fashionable pair over a tailored yet not so sexy mistake.
You must learn to make jeans your own. The reason why there is margin for error on the measurement side of things is because there is no set way in which you must wear them; the same jeans worn loose can accentuate the curves the tight fit suppresses. This can be favourable or detrimental depending on the style you are sponsoring. Unless you are investing in pitch black jeans I would advise you look for a pair with something different and original about them. This would ideally begin with the wash. At minimum a slight fade from the sides to the front is a must. It adds definition and emphasises the unique shape your body provides.
Avoid jeans with a wash that fades too much, akin to forming two different colours on the spectrum. This look is popular in Africa and abroad but it makes you look like a relatively recent acquisition for the homeland. Ripped jeans are cool within reason and different stitching can most definitely add a lot of charisma to an otherwise characterless pair. Don’t fold them up. Find the right size or one you can work with, but the good old fold-and-behold technique is no longer viable in the vogue of today. Generally blue, jeans and their greenish variations are casual wear, white jeans are loud and flashy, black is suave and slick.
Whichever jeans you do wear, remember that there is no ‘I’ in jeans. Your denim is part of a team. The fabric team which defines your outward appearance to the world, and in order to work correctly, your jeans must compliment your whole look. Work with the rest of your apparel and you may be in for a pleasant surprise.